清雪年华

Wines with bubbles are associated, for many people, primarily with festivities and celebrations. More precious and complicated to make than still wines, they have traditionally been considered as occasional extravagances. With higher acidity, more delicate flavor, their unique palate tingle and lower alcohol than most table wines, they are, however, some of the most versatile wines to accompany food. Modern production techniques have brought sparkling wines to market that are more affordable and accessible for everyday enjoyment.

Bubbles in wine were known to vintners long before they could reliably capture and preserve this phenomenon in the bottle. As a natural byproduct of the fermentation process, carbon dioxide is released in the liquid to provide a "sparkle." In the Northern climates, cold weather sometimes arrives early after harvest, stopping fermentation before the sugar is completely used up. Warm weather in the spring often causes it to start up again, resulting in carbonated wine. The English imported wine in casks. They found also that adding sugar to tart, acidic wine would often soon cause it to sparkle and they developed a liking for it. English bottles were much stronger than those in France and not as inclined to burst when the pressure built up.

Early success making sparkling wines in the French district of Champagne made its name famous, so much so that "champagne" has become generic for sparkling wine, to the eternal aggravation of the resident producers¹. The Champagne Appellation has some of the strictest, most exacting standards for growing, producing and labeling of any area in all the wine world.

Cheap American brands have long copied the Champagne name, but neither the standards, nor the methods. Quality American producers of sparkling wine often emulate the standards, apply the traditional production methods and, out of respect and in deference, leave the Champagne name to the originals. The European Union continues to support and enforce protecting the Champagne name. In January, 2008, Belgian customs agents destroyed 270 cases of California sparkling wine destined for Nigeria because it was labeled "André Champagne."

He had the idea to harvest selectively, over a period of days rather than all at once, so that only the ripest fruit was taken with each pass. He also is credited with inventing the Coquard or "basket" wine press and using it to make the first "Blanc de Noir." Another of his major developments was to blend wines of different vineyards and varieties to achieve better balance between their individual characteristics. He was an excellent taster and his cuvée system is still followed closely to this day by the house of Moêt & Chandon to produce their finest Champagne.

Finally, although corks had already been used by the Romans as closures for wine bottles, and the seagoing and trading English had corks and made sparkling wine several decades earlier than the landlocked Champagne area, Dom Perignon has been credited with the idea of using string to secure these stoppers in the bottles, thus retaining the sparkle for long periods of time.

Methode Champenoise would not be as we know it without the significant developments and improvements made by many others during the Nineteenth Century, including Jean-Antoine Chaptal (quantified the proper amount of sugar to set the alcoholic strength, c. 1801), Madame Nicole-Barbe Clicquot (inventor of riddling and dégorgement, c. 1810), Jules Guyot (pioneer of planting vines in rows, training vines onto trellises, and pruning methods, c. 1835) Adolphe Jacquesson (inventor of the muselet, the wire cage/metal cap contraption that retains sparkling wine corks, c. 1844), and more.

The traditional way of making sparkling wine begins with the grape harvest, which is always early in the season compared to the picking of still wines. Picking when sugars are relatively low keeps the alcohol low, since secondary fermentation will boost it later. Also, the youthful acids help to preserve the wine over the long course of its development. The grapes are pressed immediately, by-passing the crushing equipment, to avoid both oxidation and color in the wine.

Cuvée
The initial fermentation takes place most often in stainless steel tanks, although many varieties of container, from concrete vats to redwood tanks, are used. After the usual period of three weeks or more, when all of the natural grape sugar has been converted to alcohol, the wine is "dry." While the wine rests in a cold environment, solids and particles settle to the bottom. The clear wine on top is then racked or siphoned off the murky lees. Sometimes it is aged in oak barrels during or after this clarification and racking. The new wine is quite weak in flavor, very tart and low in alcohol. It may then be blended with stocks of older wine saved from previous vintages, to keep a consistent "house" style, or cuvée.

At bottling, a small amount of sugar that has been dissolved in old wine, along with special yeast is added. This liqueur de tirage assures a uniform secondary fermentation in the bottles. Until the application of three scientific contributions, making sparkling wine could be more dangerous than making bombs. The proper amount of sugar to add for balanced wine was quantified by Jean-Antoine Chaptal in 1801; Pharmacist André François invented, in 1836, a way to measure the remaining amount of sugar in wine; and Pasteur explained the fermentation process in 1857.

En Tirage
Some producers now insert a small plastic reservoir, called a bidule, which later aids in collecting and removing the sediment. After closing with cork-lined metal crown caps, the bottles are stored on their sides in cool cellars while the yeast ferments the sugar, boosting the alcohol and producing the bubbles of carbon dioxide. At this point, the wine is only half made, although the wine will become complete and reach the consumer in this very same bottle. The cuvée is now en tirage. This phase may span from two to several years. Meantime, the bottle stacks are observed for the inevitable breakage that occurs; flawed glass is sometimes unable to withstand the pressure that gradually increases to 100 pounds or more per square inch.

Remuage
During the secondary fermentation, sediments form from dead yeast and solids left behind during the initial clarification procedures. Consolidating the sediments for removal is another long process, known as remuage. This sediment is very fine, sludgy and sticky. Removing it from the bottle, without removing the wine, is a problem. Getting it to collect in the neck, near the opening, is the first step. In 1805, Nicole-Barbe Ponsardin Clicquot, became a young widow and head of a major Champagne house. Seeking assistance from gravity, she cut holes in her kitchen table, in order to invert the bottles. She found that shaking helped loosen the sediments, although some still stuck to the bottle bottoms. In 1810, she employed Antoine Muller and he improved the procedure by beginning with the bottle at a 45° angle, gradually increasing the angle with each shaking, until the bottom was up, the neck straight down.

Traditionally, the bottles are placed at a forty-five degree angle, necks-down, in specially built "A-frame" racks, called pupitres. An experienced worker grabs the bottom of each bottle, giving it a small shake, an abrupt back and forth twist, and a slight increase in tilt, letting it drop back in the rack. This action, called riddling, recurs every one to three days over a period of several weeks. The shaking and twist is intended dislodge particles that have clung to the glass and prevent the sediments from caking in one spot; the tilt and drop encourage the particles, assisted by gravity, to move ever more downward; the time in between riddlings allows the particles to settle out of solution again.

Computer-automated machines called Gyropalettes accomplish the riddling chore in batches, using movable bins containing hundreds of bottles rather than by the individual bottle. Invented in Spain, they became common in all sparkling wine producing countries the late 1970s. This mechanization has meant saving time, space and production cost for the producers. Hand riddling requires a minimum of eight weeks to complete; gyropalettes finish the task in under ten days.

While automation means that a bit of the romance of wine is lost for consumers, this application of modern technology compensates by increasing product consistency from bottle to bottle. Production cost savings also has allowed the introduction of traditional method sparkling wines into the lower price end of the market where formerly only bulk or mass-produced wines competed.

Whether riddled by hand or machine, in the end, the bottles are standing nearly straight upside down, with the sediment now resting on the caps. Kept in this position, the bottles are transferred to bins where they are stored, necks down, until ready for shipping to market. The final operations that ready the wine for sale are removing the sediment formed during aging, topping up the contents, adjusting the sweetness level to the house style, replacing the crown caps with corks, wire hoods, and finally, applying foils and labels just before packing the bottles in cases for shipment.

Dégorgement
Removing the sediment from the bottles is a process called dégorgement, or disgorging. The bottle necks are dipped in a solution of freezing brine or glycol. This freezes a plug of wine and sediment in the top of the neck. Skilled workers then invert each bottle as they uncap it, releasing a small amount of wine as the plug of frozen sediment flies out. The bottle is then topped up with a dosage of reserve wine, sweetened to the right amount for the determined style, also known as the liqueur d'expedition. Modern bottling lines accomplish these tasks mechanically with amazing speed and precision. Méthode Champenoise takes normally from two to five years to complete, depending on the house style.

In addition to the normal smell and taste criteria of still wine, sparkling wine quality is judged by the size of the bubbles (smaller is better), their persistence (long-lasting is better) and their mouth feel (how well the bubbles are integrated into the wine and the relative smoothness or coarseness of their texture).

Traditional disgorging at Schramsberg, 1977
(click to enlarge)

There are, in fact, other processes to put the sparkle in wine. Techniques have been developed that are very different and, many would argue, inferior to the Méthode Champenoise, based on sensory judgment. Twentieth century technology brought, besides injected carbonation, the Charmat or "bulk" process, and the "transfer" process.

Sparkling wine made by the transfer process, follows the same procedure as Méthode Champenoise, up to the point of bottling. The secondary fermentation does not take place in the actual bottle sold to the customer. The wine is bottled en tirage. However, immediately following secondary fermentation, the fermentation bottles are emptied under pressure and the wine filtered. This replaces the rémuage, riddling, and dégorgement steps. The transferred wine is then bottled under pressure into a new set of bottles that are shipped to market.

The major varietals used for (French) Champagne are Chardonnay, Meunier, and Pinot Noir. Many American producers of quality sparkling wines adhere to this list, although very little Meunier is grown here. Other sparkling wine producers worldwide can and do use anything from Thompson Seedless to various clones of Muscat. Blanc de Blancs is used to designate white wine made only from white (green) grapes; Blanc de Noirs is white wine made only from black (red) grapes.

The Transfer Method, invented in Germany, does not have a proprietary name (possibly because no individual or commercial entity would claim it). On wines sold in the United States, it is only announced by a deceptively subtle packaging regulation. The label statement "Fermented in this bottle" means Méthode Champenoise, whereas "Fermented in the bottle" refers to the transfer process; so much for reading the fine print.

Transfer is considerably less expensive and time-consuming than Méthode Champenoise. The transfer method goes from harvest to bottling in as little as ninety days, up to one year. Proponents claim the transfer method produces a more consistent product from bottle to bottle; detractors say the process strips flavor elements, especially yeast flavors. Many Champagne makers commonly use the transfer method to produce any size bottle smaller than 750 milliliter or larger than 1.5 liter.

Eugene Charmat, a Frenchman, invented his process in 1907. Instead of individual bottles to produce the secondary fermentation, he invented the glass-lined tank. The wine stays under constant pressure in bulk, through the filtering and bottling process, which takes as little as ninety days from picking to bottling. Charmat is also known as the Bulk Process.

Both the transfer and Charmat process are time and money savers. There are knowledgeable wine critics who contend that the different methods of producing sparking wine can each produce equal quality product given the same fruit to begin with. These critics are in the minority and commercial attempts at high quality Charmat or bulk process sparklers are few and far between.

Differences between the processes are readily noticeable in their end products. Both the transfer and Charmat wines usually have larger, less-long-lasting bubbles. Méthode Champenoise bubbles are usually more integrated into the wine and longer lasting. Also, because of the additional time Méthode Champenoise takes to clear the wine of sediment, the flavors of yeast autolysis (chemical breakdown) add complexity and a creaminess to the wine that is absent in the faster methods.

Style is determined by the maker. There is a Common Market Standard for levels of residual sugar (in parentheses) in sparking wines, but adherence is voluntary. Brut nature (.0-.5%) should taste bone dry. Brut (.5-1.5%) should taste dry with no perception of sweetness. Extra Dry (1.2-2.0%) tastes slightly sweet and is a style invented for the American market that "talks dry and drinks sweet." Sec (1.7-3.5%) literally translates to "dry", but is noticeably sweet. No wonder the public is confused! Demi-Sec (3.3-5.0%) is very sweet and Doux (over 5.0%) is extremely sweet. (see our Tasting Notes)

French sparkling wine not made in the Champagne region is labeled Vins Mousseux. Italians call their most well-known sparkling wine Spumante, the most popular one made in a sweet style with Muscat grapes grown around the town of Asti. Prosecco is another Italian sparkling wine, made from grapes of the same name, that has gained tremendous popularity since its introduction to the American market in 2000. Sekt is the German designation for sparkling wine. The Spanish call their sparkling wines Cava, if made by Méthode Champenoise.

When labeling American sparkling wines, producers don't conform to the European standards of dryness, although they do follow the same hierarchy of nomenclature: "Natural" is drier than "Brut", which is drier than "Extra Dry", etc.. The general guide for American "champagne" is: the cheaper they are, the sweeter they taste.

Most sparking wine is non-vintage, which allows the winemaker to blend older wine with the new, to achieve a consistent flavor style. These non-vintage dated wines are ready to consume immediately and should be within one or two years. Slowly but surely, they will begin to deteriorate; further aging does not improve these wines at all.

Vintage-dated Champagne or sparkling wine can usually benefit from some bottle-aging, provided the consumer enjoys the older, richer, fatter, less vivacious flavors that will ensue. There is generally no improvement more than ten years beyond the vintage date, although there are cultists with curatorial interest in old Champagne who might disagree.

Sometimes a Méthode Champenoise producer will leave the wine en tirage for an extended period of years and then bottle a "Reserve" or "Late Disgorged" bottling. These wines are mostly vintage dated, usually a decade or more old when released for sale, and also immediately ready to consume.

Consumers would do well to realize that aging is an intrinsic part of the process of making sparkling wine. The vast majority of sparkling wines, including true Champagne, will lose both flavor and fizz after a couple of years in the bottle, especially when not stored under optimum conditions. To celebrate that special wedding anniversary, it is much better to enjoy a freshly-purchased bottle of the same brand originally enjoyed than to suffer through one saved from the event itself.

Jim LaMar

RELATED LINKS
The FIRST Independent Champagne & Sparkling Wine Invitational festival will be held April 15-18, 2010, in New Orleans.

John Holland's Champagne Magic is an excellent site devoted to true (French) Champagne. It answers nearly any question you might have and provides many more details on houses, types, styles, regulations, history, etc. and provides maps as well as charts of vintages, bottle sizes, interesting statistical facts, and so forth.

Bruce Zoecklein of Virginia Tech's Department of Food Science and Technology, provides a more detailed Review of Méthode Champenoise Production, providing insight into the variations and subtleties in practices and chemistry that can result in wide flavor variations among sparkling wines.

Le Champagne is the official web site for growers and vintners of French Champagne.

我相信 爱的本质一如
生命的单纯与温柔
我相信 所有的
光与影的反射和相投

我相信 满树的花朵
只源於冰雪中的一粒种子
我相信 三百篇诗
反复述说著的 也就只是
年少时没能说出的
那一个字

我相信 上苍一切的安排
我也相信 如果你愿与我
一起去追溯
在那遥远而谦卑的源头之上
我们终於会互相明白

爱挺娇气挺笨挺糊涂的，有很多怕的东西。


爱怕撒谎。当我们不爱的时候，假装爱，是一种痛苦而倒霉的事情。假如被人识破，我们就成了虚伪的坏蛋。你骗了别人的钱，可以退还；你骗了别人的爱，就成了无赦的罪人。假如不曾识破，那就更惨。除非你已良心丧尽，否则便要承诺爱的假象，那心灵深处的绞杀，永无宁日。


爱怕沉默。太多的人，以为爱到深处是无言。其实爱是很难描述的一种情感，需要详尽的表达和传递。爱需要行动，但爱绝不仅仅是行动，或者说是语言和感情的流露，也是行动不可或缺的一部分。我曾经和朋友做过一个测验，让一个人心中充满一种独特的感觉，然后用表情和手势表达出来，让其他不知底细的人猜测他的内心活动。出迷和解迷的人都欣然答应，自以为万无一失。结果，能正确解码的人少得可怜。当你自觉满脸爱意的时候，他人误读的结论千奇百怪。比如认为那是——矜持、发呆、忧郁……


一位妈妈，胸有成竹地低下头，做出一个表情。我和另一位女士愣愣地看着她，相互对视了一下，异口同声地说：你要自杀？她愤怒地瞪着我们说：岂有此理，你们怎么那么笨！我此刻心头正充盈着温情！愚笨的我俩挺惭愧的，但没等我们道歉的话出口，那位妈妈恍然大悟道：原来是这样！怪不得我每次这样看着儿子的时候，他都会不安地说：妈妈，我又做错了什么？你又在发什么愁？


爱需要表达，就像耗电太快的电器，每日都得充电，重复而新鲜地描述爱意吧。它是一种勇敢和智慧的艺术。


爱怕犹豫。爱是羞怯和机灵的，一不留神它就吃了鱼饵闪去。爱的初起往往是柔若无骨的碰撞和翩若惊鸿的动力。在爱的极早期，就敏锐地识别自己的真爱，是一种能力，更是一种果敢。爱一桩事业，就奋不顾身地投入；爱一个人，就勇往直前地追求；爱一个民族，就挫骨扬灰地献身。


爱怕模棱两可。要心爱这一个，要心爱那一个，遵循一种“全或无”的铁律。爱，就是铺天盖地，不遗下一个角落。不爱就应该快刀斩乱麻，迟疑延宕是他人和自己的不负责任。


爱怕沙上建塔。那样的爱，无论多么玲珑剔透，潮起潮落，遗下的只是无珠的蚌壳和断根的水草。


爱怕无源之水。沙漠里的河啊，即使不是海市蜃楼，波光粼粼又能坚持几天？当沙暴袭来的时候，最先干涸的正是泪水积聚的咸水湖。


爱怕假冒伪劣。真的爱也许不那么外表光鲜、色彩艳丽，没有精致的包装，没有夸口的广告，但是它有内在的质量保证。真爱并非不会发生短路与损伤，但是它有保修单，那是两颗心的承诺，写在天地间。


爱的脚力不健，怕远。距离会漂淡彼此相思的颜色。假如有可能，就靠得近一点，再近一点，直到水乳交融、紧密无间。万万不要人为的以分离考验它的强度，那样你也许会后悔莫及。尽量地创造并肩携手天人合一的机会。


爱像娇艳的花朵，怕转瞬即逝。爱可以不朝朝暮暮，爱可以不卿卿我我，但爱要铁杵磨针，恒远久长。


爱怕平分秋色。在爱的钢丝上不能学高空王子，不宜做危险动作。即使你摇摇晃晃，一时不曾跌落，也是偶然性救你，任何一阵旋风，都可能使你轰然坠毁，最明智保险的是赶快从高空回到平地，在泥土上留下深深的脚印。


爱怕刻意求工。爱可以披头散发，爱可以荆钗布裙，爱可以粗茶淡饭，爱可以风餐露宿。只要有一腔真情，爱就有了依傍。


爱的时候，眼睛近视散光，只爱看江山如画。耳朵是聋的，只爱听莺歌燕舞。爱让人片面，爱让人轻信。爱让人智商下降，爱让人一厢情愿。爱最怕的是腐败。爱需要天天注入激情和活力，但又如深潭，波澜不惊。

冯至译 

    在寂寞中你不要旁徨迷惑，由于你自身内有一些愿望要从这寂寞里脱身。——也正是这个愿望，如果你平静地、卓越地，像一件工具似地去运用它，它就会帮助你把你的寂寞扩展到广远的地方。一般人（用因袭的帮助）把一切都轻易地去解决，而且按着轻易中最轻易的方面；但这是很显然的，自然界中一切都是按照自己的方式生长，防御，表现出来自己，无论如何都要生存，抵抗一切反对的力量。我们知道的很少；但我们必须委身于艰难却是一件永不会丢开我们的信念。寂寞地生存是好的，因为寂寞是艰难的；只要是艰难的事，就有使我们更有理由为它工作。

　　爱，很好；因为爱是艰难的。以人去爱人：这也许是给与我们的最艰难、最重大的事，是最后的实验与考试，是最高的工作，别的工作都不过是为此而做的准备。所以一切正在开始的青年们还不能爱；他们必须学习。他们必须用他们整个的生命、用一切的力量，集聚他们寂寞、痛苦和向上激动的心去学习爱。可是学习的时期永远是一个长久的专心致志的时期，爱就长期地深深地侵入生命——寂寞，增强而深入的孤独生活，是为了爱着的人。爱的要义并不是什么倾心、献身、与第二者结合（那该是怎样的一个结合呢，如果是一种不明了，无所成就、不关重要的结合？），它对于个人是一种崇高的动力，去成熟，在自身内有所完成，去完成一个世界，是为了另一个人完成一个自己的世界，这对于他是一个巨大的、不让步的要求，把他选择出来，向广远召唤。青年们只应在把这当作课业去工作的意义中（“昼夜不停地探索，去锤炼”）去使用那给与他们的爱。至于倾心、献身，以及一切的结合，还不是他们的事（他们还须长时间地节省、聚集），那是最后的终点，也许是人的生活现在还几乎不能达到的境地。

作者：陈彬

1.假设在一个地方发现了一个金矿，一个人投资建立一个矿场，雇佣100个工人为他淘金。矿主把其中50%作为工人工资，每个工人年收入5万元。他们拿1万来租房子，剩下四万可以成家立业。矿主手里还有500万，可以做投资。因为工人手里有钱可以安家落户，所以就出现了房屋的需求。于是矿主用手里的钱盖房，租给工人或者卖给工人，工人要吃喝，所以要开饭店，开饭店又要雇佣别人，于是工人的妻子有了就业机会。一个家庭的消费需求增加。这样几年后，这个地方出现了100个家庭，孩子要读书，于是出现了教育需求，于是又人来开办学校。工人要约会，要消费，于是又有了电影院，有了商店。这样，50年后这个地方的矿被挖光时，这里已经成了几万人左右的繁华城市。

2.假设同样发现一个金矿，同样有人来开采，同样雇佣100个工人。同样每年获利1000万，但是矿主把其中10%作为工资。每个工人一年1万，这些钱只够他勉强填饱肚子，没有钱租房。没有钱討老婆。矿主一年赚900万，但是看一看满眼都是穷人，在本地投资不会有需求。于是他把钱转移到国外，他盖豪华的别墅，雇工人当保镖，工人没有前途，除了拼命工作糊口，根本没有别的需求，唯一的需求可能就是想办法骗一个老婆来。生一个漂亮的女儿，或许还有可能嫁给矿主做老婆。50年后这个地方除了豪华别墅，依然没有别的产业。等矿挖完了，矿主带着巨款走了，工人要么流亡，要么男为盗，女为娼.

我醉欲眠卿且去，明朝有意抱琴来。

写博客是太久远的事情了……但是现在很闲，就想写点什么。原来想写的时候总是拖宕最终未果，所以，现在还是能写写点什么吧。至少不用说好几遍是吧……有时候话说多了自己也会烦，懒得说……但是又得说……真是……但是已经没有以前那种想要变成哑巴的愿望了。不能太把自己当回事儿——昨天还教育别人大半天呢。尤其是工作的时候是吧？

从哪儿开始写呢？承德回来记了一次。然后前几天收到泥泥的短信。答复了。离得远了，我也不能像以前那样了……我总想让她好好面对，好像很狠心的样子。不知道她承受了什么……但是无论怎样都必须要面对，面对了才会成长，才会好。否则，会不必要的耽误很多。痛苦很多。

有时候也觉得我太冷血太现实。好像没什么刻骨的感情。也许有些东西是藏的太深连自己都不知道了吧。也许是自我保护的方法。有点矫枉过正，尝试改之。因为年轻，所以应该勇敢，应该不让自己后悔。习惯把事情摊开来说，但是现在看，还是有点幼稚了。对有些人可以，总不能对所有人都这样吧。

前几天给园园和那谁（我真是没法称呼人了！）找了份工作。他们今天开始上班。昨天晚上彩排北京戒严，真是很麻烦。奥运就是很麻烦，图书馆都不开……虽然它把书摆的齐了点，但是开学了又用不上就又乱了……

昨天晚上在QQ上遇见08的葡工学妹。说我是传奇……我完全可以理解。这也算是高考分数带给我唯一的骄傲了吧。我让辽宁的葡工变得很传奇，但是也仅此而已。不过这样也够了吧，至少辽宁的N多考生在研究那厚本儿的时候都会有点感慨的吧……反正我是一直都没弄明白志愿那档子事儿。刚刚查了下农大，比去年还低了十分，跟药科大学一样……我真是愁死了，如果不是这个专业还能长点……我怎么就这么虚荣。

还有……怎么就变成大二学姐了？虽然高考离我很远，但是大一开学还在目啊……就变成人家师姐了……靠。

好顿开导她，让她自己做出决定，谁能帮别人做决定呢？大部分理念还是承袭高中最后阶段形成的。所以我对高三并不后悔，对于我做出的决定也没什么可后悔的。有的时候那不过是随便说说，我现在去了同济什么的倒是名儿好听了，但是我未必就会舒服。现在过得，还算很充实，也不是特别累。特别压抑。很好。农大还是比较适合我的。但是我也应该受到刺激再好一点了……还是要学习的。要思考的。应该再紧张点，太散漫了。九月的计算机三级，还不知道能不能过呢。我连看都没看。这又不是C语言，又交了那么多钱……我实在是不想再查分了，看见不及格科目我就郁闷，这实在是我没想到的丢人。

工作

经历了N此失败之后知道不能再去中介面试了。浪费的那个时间我做什么都好。好歹得从事点有技术的工种。以后又不甘于做这个。做过了，尝试过了就可以了……有些愿望是用来破灭的。

然后乱七八糟的培训，白痴一样的得罪人害了自己后才知道要老实点。给你钱就不错了，让干吗干吗吧。昨天发了钱。我真希望能多数出几张来。最后的数目会比一开始少的。合同……也是没什么大用的。

加入平行校园。跑了很多家拉广告，真正拉成的似乎只有一个。没有那么多热情了，但是倒是也很有收获，认识些人，有些新的想法。我的创意还是可以的……可以考虑发展一下。给点压力还是可以出成果的，在家没有被委以重任没有刺激才会无作为啊……可惜啊，人才的埋没。

我对那个公司很有兴趣，希望能够把我想到的有些东西付诸实行。这应该是很爽的吧，利用自己想到的。但是没那么容易，毕竟阅历尚浅。

工作的艰辛自不待言。只是我一出去跑就大晴天，今天就是阴天……唉……没有天理啊。

所谓奥运

昨天开幕式，在展馆耗了一天。开始光脚站的。很是痛苦，宁可穿高跟鞋站。然后被调到一楼……不知道为什么只抽我去……就因为我得罪人家了吧。对我的态度……还是别提了。站在广场一角，看开幕式。罗格讲完三星总裁讲。（架子真大，请来罗格自己就派个CEO就完事儿了？韩国人的英语水平真是不敢恭维，我就没听懂几句。靠……过几天再视察工作，一跟我说话我听不懂还不直接就给我弄没了。还有韩国人的长相——这不是韩剧这不是韩剧……默念钱数也不能让我脚不疼。）然后北京奥组委派人讲……以为结束了吧，还有刘璇代表三星奥运大使讲，好吧，还是没结束，还有清华大学设计者讲。现场看什么意思都没有，我一点都不激动，只能作为谈资——可是谁也不嫉妒。嘿嘿，毕竟见识过么，见了知道没什么，但是没见就不知道啊！嗯。我代替好多人见了，没什么没什么。

我就当军训总算是给熬过来了，人的意志是无穷的。所有地方都疼——膝盖和腰是比较要命的……小时候不该学舞蹈应该学气功……这样就不会这么累了。

还是没法太有心机。罢了罢了。好处也是有的，二楼运动员中心待遇还比较好——就是不知道会不会给我换下来，我真有点惶惶了……虽然还没不可终日。

衣服穿了一天就不行了……且不说那破衣服不合身还有点韩国味道。发了奥运志愿者的牌子……大晚上回来走了N里地。8号想看电视不想看电脑……我要是在家该多轻松。传说今天谁谁传火炬。其实也没啥看的。到现场也就是为了氛围，为了心潮澎湃。也好。但是没机会就只能这么着了是不是。

就这么多呗，有时候晚上和园园谈谈也挺好的。那天出去和小披萨店的经理谈谈也挺好的，不做这个我就没机会认识人么……是不是。多好。

哎呀就这么结束吧，懒得总结也没法总结。无非就是记下些可能会忘的还有那么点意思的东西——尽量写的不要太平淡，尽量写的让想知道的（虽然没几个）人能看进去。还是挺长的。老毛病了。回头看看，我过得还是不算太平淡。虽然说我还是有很大一部分时间在电脑前看韩剧聊天（我现在不是喜欢聊天啊……不得已啊。不过已经到一种境界了，估计不会再那么浪费时间聊天了）。还可以再努力一点……嗯，也还算充实哈。

      隔一程山水，你是我不能回去的原乡，与我坐望于光阴的两岸。
　　
　　
　　彼处桃花盛开，绚烂满天凄艳的红霞，你笑得清浅从容，而我却仍在这里守望，落英如雨，印证我佛拈花一笑的了然。爱，如此繁华，如此寂寥。
　　
　　
　　起身，然后落座，知道，与你的缘份，也只有这一盏茶而已。结局早已先我抵达，蛰伏于五月的一场
　　
　　雨，十分钟，或许不够一生回忆，却足以老去所有年华。
　　
　　
　　五月的天空泼满青釉，你瓷青的衣襟在风里飘拂。阳光遍地，你信手拾起一枚，放进我手里，说：“我爱你！”三字成谶，我被你一语中的，从此，沉重的枷锁背负我每个梦境，明知无望，却固守着仅存的坚持，以为，终究可以将你守侯成最美的风景。
　　
　　
　　若青春可以作注，我已押上一切筹码，只待你开出一幅九天十地的牌久，示我以最终的输赢。谁知,你竟中途离开，衣袖随长风斜过，拂乱了赌局。无人坐庄，这一局牌宛然三月桃花，错落于五月的湖面，飘散了满湖的灰飞烟灭。
　　
　　
　　遂重新检视命运，看它如何写就这一段际遇。暮色四合，天边的浮云已渐暗。人走，茶亦凉，有明月,照你的背影涉水而过，十丈红尘饰你以锦绣，千朵芙蓉衣你以华裳，而你竟无半点回顾，就这样,轻易穿越我一生的沧桑。
　　
　　
　　摊开手掌，阳光菲薄，一如你的许诺。太爱你，所以希望你以许诺勾兑眼泪，以永恒明见柔情，却不曾料到，岁月将你的微笑做了伏笔，只待风沙四起，尘埃遍野，便折戟扬刀，杀一个回马枪，陷我于永无翻身之日的险境。
　　
　　
　　没有狂歌当哭的勇气，却在倒地时明心见性，瞥见万里风沙之上，有人沉腕拨镫，疾书一行字：“相忘于江湖”。朱砂如血，触目惊心。
　　
　　
　　忘，谈何容易？烟水亭边，你用青色丝绦挽就了我的心结，江南的水光潋滟了你的眼，你已是我一生的水源，润我干涸的视线，柔我冷硬的心痂，忘记你，不如忘记我自己。
　　
　　
　　而夜幕，却依旧如期降临，深冬的风替换曾经的烟花三月，举目四望，偌大的桌边只我一人，空对，一盏冰冷的茶。
　　
　　
　　竟是不能不忘。
　　
　　
　　也罢，且学你拂袖而去，菩提树下觅一方青石，静待，看沧海变桑田。
　　
　　
　　你已到达彼岸，水草丰美，桃花怒放，便是落雨，也有一番风细柳斜的心事。我只能做到起身离席,却仍无法与你同步。其实，又何曾与你同步过？一盏茶的爱，终我一生，也只有这一盏茶的温度，由暖而凉，片刻而已。
　　
　　
　　你抬手落笔，转折勾挑出青春的天书，我是你无法辩识的狂草，短短一行，被你飞快地写下，翻过。
　　
　　再提起，只怕也要在多年以后，由阔达圆和的魏体悄然重写，方可看清，当初的挥毫泼墨，竟是如此轻易，如此不堪。
　　
　　
　　回忆若能下酒，往事便可作一场宿醉，醒来时，天依旧清亮，风仍然分明，而光阴的两岸，终究无法以一苇渡航，我知你心意。
　　
　　
　　无须更多言语，我必与你相忘于江湖，以沧桑为饮，年华果腹，岁月做衣锦华服，于百转千回后，悄然转身，然后，离去。

PS：打不出来那个字儿，应该是女字旁的桢……字典也查不着……郁闷，现在又没有辞海了。什么世道啊……

可以算是第一次看她的文章吧。像那时候喜欢的散文诗的风格。很久不转，就转一篇。算是比那篇什么春天空着要好……呵呵。

来的时候的一千块钱，现在已经剩不了多少了。可能不到一百吧。距离工作还远着呢，何况发工资。就算拿到那笔钱，交学费之外还能剩下多少？真的是被惯坏了吧，还是那么不吝惜的花钱。如果在北京哪儿都不怎么去还好一点，去承德一趟……用钱的地方太多……好在依了同行，住的是小店，省了好多住宿费。否则恐怕没法回来。

有点被惯坏吗？以前在家，也没觉着如何。和高中那些家境优渥的同学比起来，我应该算不得什么吧。有时候会有点刻意吧，展示一下我知道的多么多，我也见过什么样的世面。就像是在那种环境待时间长了，不可避免的一种心理。说来说去，一直还是有点自卑，所以才会藉由别人眼中的自己来提升自己。
一直不觉得自己在那群人中有什么突出之处。曾经还觉得心理上成熟一点，高一个层次，现在来看，也强不到哪儿去。反倒使我现在带了某种优越感……我有什么？凭什么带有这种优越感？想想钱我就头疼。我向往的那种想买什么买什么的高收入生活，现在看来，无限期的拖后了。

这只是这趟去承德的一点反思。也许我现在是挺难相处的。高中的时候还会让人看不出不快的迎合。现在呢，倒是更加被惯坏了。话不投机就懒得说。但是我也知道根本没办法要求别人什么。相熟尚且不能，何况以前几乎就没什么交往。我有时候会尽量考虑别人的感受，但是现在说话上已经不太愿意委屈自己，有时候的敷衍只怕人家也不是听不出来。我怎么就变成了这样，和那么多人意见相左又不肯委屈自己……是我偏颇吗？是我肤浅吗？懒得应付，又不能完全忠于自己。是被惯坏了吧，在家就是，出来还是有人惯着……

坐在火车上，连趴在桌子上睡的地方都没有……看人家有的躺在那儿，有的相互依靠着……跟我一起来的女孩靠窗，上车没多会儿就趴在桌子上睡着了……我对面是个爷爷。把脚搭在我旁边的座上……一个硬座，我只坐不到四分之一……只能看书，腿没地方放……谁能要求别人关照你的感觉。我只能尽量关照别人的感觉。因为我觉得那是应该的……起码自己心里舒服点吧。感谢那本《大校的女儿》，虽然不是什么很圆满的故事，但看得还是有温馨有感佩。婚姻哪儿是那么容易的事情。有时候千算万算也算不过命运——哪里有让你避开一切不幸的先见之明？终究还是许多东西都留不住，只能守好自己。

在承德买了一双鞋，还不错……还有那本《大校的女儿》——早就想看，但是没有机会。正好没事儿干……

这几天有点想家，也许是因为过得不好吧。去年爸爸来办签证的时候就跟我说，都是过得不好才想家的……前几天穿着破高跟鞋到处走……结果没有什么成果。也不算寂寞，也不算孤独。只是想起家里的温馨，还是不能不有点难过的。非到万不得已，不和别人讲话的。讲起来倒也没什么了，只是静的时间久了，反倒不愿说话了。

说说对承德的印象吧。承德很小。有时候让我觉得像本溪。人也挺淳朴，最后住的小店50一晚，只是没有洗手间，倒也干净。在北京只怕是没有这个可能的，是自家开的小旅店。晚上无处去，早上已经退了房，东西放在老板值班的地方，晚上便坐在那个小屋里看了几集电视。在避暑山庄的时候，找洗手间，问到了一个年轻历史老师，他领着我们在离宫里转了一阵，对历史掌故了解颇深。领我们去看沧浪园，讲它的结构，讲讲普陀宗乘之庙的典故……让我颇觉自己历史的欠缺。晚上请他吃饭，他不吃，领我们转到一条比较繁华的路段然后回家了……这些都是我意料之外的承德。很久没有感受到这样的风情。让我感喟。
小城有小城的好处，走来走去就可以走到想去的地方……也还算干净。想起本溪，想起小时候。

早上4点火车抵达北京。出来找夜班车，303就是209.坐到西直门，幸好有公交专线7路。用了两个小时才到寝室。终于安心，睡到11点，手机闹铃丝毫不闻。呵呵。大概是十一点多才清醒点，听见手机响才醒来。
四点多的时候天已经开始亮了。在大连的那天，天色已经是微亮的深蓝。但是北京的天际仍然被灯映得泛红……空气清冷湿润，街上无人，感觉很好。如果是比较喜欢的人陪着我，如果不那么累，哪怕是一个人……也会是很美的吧。这样的清晨——清晨到来前的清晨。像我小时候冬天去上学嗅到的清寒。但是时间和空间都不能重复，也只是淡然浮上心头。
想多看看，却终究还是睡着了，几次脑袋撞到车窗惊醒，仍是继续睡过去。还要叫醒同行的人。仍是不愿意多说话。毛病吧。呵呵。

清晨，多美好的字眼。可以洗去一切尘埃。想起一个明媚又清爽的清晨就让人心情愉悦开阔。惟愿以后能够更多的领略她的美。

就说这么多吧。很久不写了，乱七八糟，还望见谅。